Snapshots: What makes us happy, what makes us sad
1. Where did she go? She was here just a minute ago. That's me, first row, far left. When people say, "I can't help it," meaning they can't help the way they feel, considering how they are wired and what they have experienced, I get it. Easy for therapists to say, "Sure you can change how you feel, it's all attitude. And we have all of these techniques, you see." But there are autonomic emotional reflexes that merely kick in when we hear things, see things, and as much as we would will them away, biology rules. Not that it isn't worth the fight. Most of us beat depression eventually, but winning and timing depends upon what kid of depression it is. Grieving is one that isn't worth the fight, not in the first year of a loss. Just feel bad and accept it , the general rule. I'm coming to the end of that first year, following my mother's death. It will be almost four years since my father died, broke us in a little. There is still a cer...