Healthcanc

(1) The Queen of Enmeshment We've talked about finding meaning in life, the search for self and identity, and how the dynamics of our closest relationships, enmeshment in particular, can make that quest seemingly impossible. Cheryl Rice But nobody will teach you more about what it is like to really be enmeshed than Cheryl Rice. How the needs of a parent can hijack a child's sense of independence and well-being are the essence of her memoire,  Where Have I Been All My Life ,  the definitive treatment on the subject. Where Have I Been All My Life I don't want to spoil it, but the first obvious sign that Cheryl is in trouble starts with kindergarten. Most children are anxious, their moms excited to send them off to their first full day of school. Have a great time, don't forget to write! Cheryl can't handle the separation, probably because her mother set the stage. She can't handle it. Tears of separation anxiety, sobs of sadness, breaks even the unbreakable resolv...

We haven't talked about family of origin in awhile, so why not get back to it. I was going to write about guilt, anyway. I have an optometrist who made me a pair of rimless glasses about fifteen years ago, glass.  "Treat these like jewelry," he warned. "They are very fragile." Random building,  random car, not the car or building in the story . The Story: Five or six days out of the week I swim. At the same time, as I walk into the looming multi-unit building, a frail older man in a white shirt and tie, black suit and hat, is leaving. A large SUV waits at the curb. The gentleman struggles with the passenger front door, steps up carefully into the car. He and his driver are likely off to morning prayers. The windows are dark, but I assume the driver is his son. I can picture the older man tossing the cane into the back seat. Hating myself for judging, it bothers me that whoever it is picking him up, for whatever reason, hasn't popped out of the car to help. I...

This post is dedicated to Bev, who always saw and always heard my mom. Zeek and Camille    I've been watching way too much TV, and feel guilty because I remember telling my kids how it is so numbing, how it can get away from you, the hours. And it's the truth, more than likely, why we love it. That and looking at people who are good-looking and talented enough to make it onto television.  Our own people zoo. Does the job. And yet, it has to stop. An hour a night is all I get, then it's back to books. Who needs friends? One big happy family You do learn things from TV. After hearing about it from a critical mass, I found • Parenthood on Amazon Video, all of those old episodes about aging and not so aging hippies and hipsters, one big happy family in Berkeley, circling the hub, the deteriorating old family homestead, complete with a barn. The teenager, even the young children, are the ones who think outside the box. There's an especially adorable child with Asperger...