On Mother's Day
It is like a Memorial Day, but in reverse. Rather than look down, we look up. Many are not happy with what they see, is the problem, making a celebratory day more of a day of reflection. It's not so easy, showing gratitude to mom, sometimes. Much of a therapist's ordinary week is about the mothers that are difficult to see, to understand. There are the ones who are selfish (narcissistic), who think every day is supposed to be Mother's Day, and that every day their children should be gazing back at them with love, appreciation, and attention. We speak in therapy of those mothers who are confused, too, who feel too strongly, whose emotions spill over on us, far too often, for whom life is black and white, or mostly black, and their children are supposed to change that, at least understand them. Their children are to think of them, consider them, respond to them right, as if there is a right way, right for everyone. It is very hard to understand these moms and their needs ...