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Showing posts from May, 2016

Interventions: The Screenshot

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Before intervention became a household word, disseminated via television as a strategy to sober people up, therapists used it universally as any strategy designed for change. An intervention is something a therapist uses to change behavior that doesn't work for the client. Or it might add a behavior that works much better.  Much of therapy is about finding ways to stop something or to start something. Here's an example, an intervention I thought up working with a client who wanted to lose weight. But  the intervention can be altered to fit any behavioral or emotional issue, too. Anything that needs reinforcement, reminders. A pretty big set.  Just a reminder that the example below is fictitious, a variant of what really happened. We're bemoaning the fact that at a hundred pounds overweight, the patient needs to use multiple behavioral strategies to cut down her calories, and she needs to walk every day. She does nothing but eat and sleep. The emotional reasons, the psychol

1001 Ways to Live Wild

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So you could have written that last post, maybe. It didn't take long.  But neither of us, asked to pad the list of Eight Reasons We Overbook   to  1001 Reasons We Overbook , could have made it happen.  Who writes a list of 1001 items? Barbara Ann Kipfer . She has a few books of lists, like 14,000 Things to Be Happy About , and 4000 Questions for Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone . She sent me the lovely little hard-covered work,   1001 Ways to Live Wild   via her publicist, published by National Geographic, which is where the truly wild things are, within those pages. Otherwise Barbara's suggestions might have turned out to be a bit too soppy, sweet, a  just do it  book, rather than something truly imaginative. The book is full of tiny risk-taking strategies (although few are terribly risky) to take us out of our comfort zones, and it's good to get out of there once in awhile. We call it good stress . Barbara Ann Kipfer quotes Barbara Ann Kipfer quotes Barbara Ann Kipf

8 Reasons We Overbook

I don't mean double book. Just packing too much in one day. The day after promising to post daily for a week or more, my schedule is ridiculous and I think,  How will I fit this in? How does this happen? Why? You take on new patients, that's how. And if it is a marital therapy, you probably want to see them twice that first week, not once. Maybe three times. That's how some of us do it. How one of us does it. But it isn't only therapists who can't resist adding more to an already full workload. Let's take a look at the reasons we over-schedule, take on more than we probably should. Feel free to add thoughts . This is a short-list. Why We Overdo It   1. We can't say No. So many reasons we can't say no. fear of rejection, fear someone will be angry with us, fear we won't be included next time, will be left out, wanting to be the go-to person for starts. Some see it as a weakness, call it co-dependent, others admire such strong emotional attachment. Whe

The 10th Anniversary

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Unbelievable that this blog has stayed alive 10 years. I've had fish that haven't lasted that long. But in all fairness, marine fish are a little on the vulnerable side. They do best when they've listened to Brene Brown's  TED Talk,  The Power of Vulnerability . Not that I haven't always encouraged them to express themselves, to be authentic, above all. Watchman Gobi, a little nervous The blog, for all its longevity, suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder. I've tested it, and it is obvious that it rarely stays on one topic for longer than a day. We jump all over the place in this spot, from birth to death, order to disorder, to food, hobbies, conferences air travel, anywhere this anonymous blogger has traveled to lately, and always, always, we discuss relationships of all kinds. It can be a chore though.  So why not experiment for a week, maybe two, assuming the experimenter can go that long. We're going to try to beat the ADD. A snapshot a day for two week

Snapshots: Mothers Day

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Is it, Mothers Day, or Mother's Day? (1) Gold-Cross Anyone who has ever been to therapy, or who is psychologically astute, understands that emotional states can be triggered by holidays, by birthdays, and anniversaries. It is because we're encouraged to remember these days, and the very mention of the date on the calendar, signals brain retrieval, all that is associated with that date, whatever is within reach. So on your brother's birthday, if you forgot it before, you'll remember it when you write a check with that date. The anniversary of your first marriage will give you pause. Heinrich Bavarian Gold-Cross crystal, right,  And marketing is ubiquitous. The approach of Mother's Day is a harbinger to remember Mom. Buy her something. What if it were just a day of remembrance, the living and those who are gone, no buying anyone anything, or even, having to remember to give cards? Things from boxes, put them in the dishwasher right away I don’t remember last year, or